I’ve always been a positive person into personal development and the Law of Attraction. I strive to be a better version of myself each and every day. I live in abundance and gratitude and I am thankful for each day that I am blessed with to be my true and real authentic self. But I was not always this way.
There was a time in my life where life sucked and I felt like crap about my life and myself. Actually, come to think of it, there were many times where I felt stuck and life sucked. I was in constant struggle mode. Always worried about how I was going to afford bills, groceries, and gas. Being a single mother with a 4-year-old daughter and an 8-month-old puppy and a mortgage did not make things any easier. The jobs I worked barely paid the bills and saving money was not even a thought.
I felt so broke and helpless.
I had just ended a 5-year relationship with my daughter’s dad, and I was stuck with a house and all the expenses that came with it. I had to get a different job to barely make the mortgage. I got little support from my ex. He was feeling pretty bitter and resentful towards me so anything with him resulted in an argument. It was hell. I felt like my world had just crumbled and I had to try to pick up the pieces and put me back together again who ever that was.
Through the pain I suffered, I knew deep down inside that I had to change. Even after all the studying of the LOA and personal development, I knew that in order for change to happen, I had to change inside. I had to change my thoughts about how I felt about myself and my life. I had to change who I thought I was. Who I surrounded myself with. Everything had to change. I am happy I had made a very brave decision to get out of an unhealthy relationship that was starting to be a repeat of my childhood. I did not want that for my daughter. The abuse and violence that went on in my household growing up was horrible. And I saw those same things were happening in my relationship and I wasn’t going to put my daughter through that because I knew how much it messes you up inside. I couldn’t let that happen to her. So, I had to leave and change course.
For the longest time, several months in fact, I didn’t know how I was going to get through the breakup and where to even begin to put my life back together. I didn’t have much help. My family lived 200 miles away from me, so family support wasn’t really there. I felt like it was just me and my daughter and that we were all alone. It was a very depressing feeling. I would cry myself to sleep most nights after my daughter went to sleep praying to God to give me the strength to get through this. God was my saving grace during that difficult time. I had to believe in Him to light the way. I had to believe in the unknown and believe that everything was going to work out for the best. But during the storm, you don’t really see the light at the end of the tunnel.
One day, I’m sitting in my living room staring at the T.V. and it dawned on me that I was in total control of my life. I had the power to heal, to create a life I truly desired and that everything I needed was all inside of me. I couldn’t believe it at first. I kept letting my circumstances keep me stuck, keep me in victim mode to survive. I kept letting the limiting beliefs I held about myself from really living. I didn’t want to just survive anymore. I knew in my soul that life wasn’t just about working a job you hated for little money just to pay bills. I felt like there was more to life. I felt like there was more potential in me. More of me to express to the world. So, I set sail on a healing journey to release myself of what no longer serves me and fill that space with peace, love, and happiness that I see fit for myself and my life.
On my journey to healing myself, I started getting in touch with my intuition and distinguish its voice from the ego voice. I started making a point to become aware of the self-talk I was telling myself. I would write in a journal my thoughts and feelings about what thoughts I told myself. You wouldn’t believe the stuff I was saying. Things like, “You aren’t good enough. You’re not worthy of a management position. You don’t have enough education. Who do you think you are? You don’t come from a family of successful people. What do you know about running a business?” No wonder I wasn’t getting anywhere in life. I wasn’t even setting myself up for success with that kind of self-talk. So, I started to become more aware of what I was telling myself. I started using affirmations to change what I thought and felt about myself. I would look in the mirror every morning when I was getting ready and tell myself and really feel it, things like, “I am so beautiful. I am happy. I live in abundance. I am loved. I am safe. I am secure. I am powerful.” Every day until I started believing it. Until I started being it.
I started practicing yoga and fell in love. Yoga is something I’ve practiced every day since starting. It has helped me heal my physical body by releasing negative energies that are stagnant in the body. I started tapping mediations to calm and relax my nervous system. Which is amazing. I started getting still. Sitting in meditation. I never knew how important it was to get still until I started mediation and really tuning in. I would take self-development courses to keep feeding my mind positive information. I only surrounded myself with people who were positive and supported me in my healing journey. I practiced letting go of limiting beliefs that was put on me from my family and generations pasted that no longer served me by following the practices I learned from my mentors like Natalie Ledwell and Mary Morrissey. I started learning how to heal my chakra system by clearing out all the negative energy that clogged my energy field. I threw myself into anything that could help heal me.
I can tell you today, everything I have done to heal myself has paid off. I am the happiest I have ever been. I have unconditional love, acceptance, and compassion for myself that is so strong nothing can break it. I am more confident in who I am and who I am becoming. I am so happy and grateful that love is all around me and everywhere present. I am so in love with myself and my life. I am living my dream life that I am co-creating with the Universe. I am living my purpose of spreading love and teaching people to love themselves.
You can heal yourself too if you put the work in you. I am so happy and grateful I put the work into myself because I live free now. Free of the past, free of my family’s old beliefs, free of self-negativity. I am free. I live in the present and I cherish every moment. Life is what you make it. You can stay stuck and unhappy, or you can change and create a life worth living. A life where you are at peace with your past, in love with yourself and in harmony with your purpose. You just have to think and do for yourself. Only you can change you. There is greatness in you. You have the power to heal you from within.